To experience  intimacy you want to feel more connected to your partner, because it creates trust and security. When we feel safe we are  likely  to let down our guard  and want to explore and be open to transcendence.


In the beginning of a relationship, we live more in the present moment. We appreciate our partner. We want to get to know each other and fully enjoy each other’s company. However, when we get used to the other person, we start to live more in our heads.

Instead of experiencing our relationship, we experience our thoughts of the relationship and the other person. We start to think that we already know who they are, and we take them a bit for granted.

Instead of truly listening to our partner, we make our own assumptions about them and what they are telling us. We don’t realize that we are experiencing our own thinking and not the real relationship.







1.Give your partner your undivided attention, and focused presence. When you give someone your full presence they feel loved and cared for and heard.

Listen to them with your eyes, ears, mind and heart. A huge part of connecting is providing a safe space to connect.


2. Ask your partner questions be curious and interested in them even if you’ve been together for a long time. Ask them questions that reveal their inner reality, their values their likes and                  dislikes their beliefs, dreams and struggles. Relationships are based on sharing so be prepared to answer the very same questions you ask so it doesn’t feel like an interrogation to them.


3. People are afraid to share the truth of themselves because they are afraid of any consequences. People need their emotions to be accepted more than anything else to feel connection.  So show  them you are accepting of them through honest authentic communication.


4. Take initiative, this is especially true for men because masculinity is forward moving energy, otherwise you stay in a passive role. Most of us spend our time waiting for the other to connect           with us, but we must let go of this and be willing to go to the places where we want to connect be seen and understood.



5. Openness is emotional generosity. Being vulnerable is scary, but if you are always guarded you will never really connect with others.  Don’t wait for your partner to initiate connection of any        kind.  Initiate the kind of connection you want.  Offer information about yourself, it will help with feeling included and wanted by you. Share your passions and desires with your partner  and      it will help them feel inspired and energised.

6 .Relate to your partner by  being empathetic and compassionate, and find ways to help your partner feel validated and convey that you understand them. If we  really want to connect with someone, we have to be willing to feel what they    feel. We must be willing to step into their shoes completely.

7. Extending energy towards other people is essential when it comes to connection. Remember important dates; remember things about your partner that are important to them, so that they            can  see that you have really taken them to heart.. Make them a priority in your life. It’s difficult to connect with someone when the message you keep giving them is “you’re not important to        me.

8.Practice exuding warmth and positive energy to your partner, this helps them to feel comfortable and welcomed by you. We are very  sensitive to energy.  Here is a good technique for doing          this… Imagine from your heart centre  a laser beam of light, send your partner a feeling of love, appreciation, warmth any feeling you want them to feel through this laser beam, to their heart        and watch the transformation.


9.  A very important way to connect is through your erotic connection. Its more than just sex. It’s a way of living, experiencing pleasure, joy, aliveness, playfulness. Your erotic connection and           sexuality engages your creativity and imagination and generates a quality and energy between you.  It’s this  connection that touches our thoughts feelings and senses.

A physical connection to someone with whom we also share a strong spiritual and emotional bond, is something else entirely.  It’s  pure love… romance… passion… intimacy and ecstasy. The       best sex you will experience is with someone you love, and it gets better and more satisfying over time if you allow yourself to be open.

Erotic connection is risky and vulnerable. It requires trust so that we can engage in a unique communication that combines self-reflection and a deep understanding of one another.                        Sometimes, this communication goes beyond talking and relies on our senses.

Many of us when it comes to sexuality, tend to do what we think we should do, or what our partner expects of us rather than what we’d like to be doing. We get stuck in ruts and disconnect           from our imaginations.  We often would love to experience new things with our partners but can be afraid to initiate what we want.  A minor annoyance or a major impasse can both be a               catalyst for shutting down sexually.

Eroticism isn’t purely sexual it is sexuality transformed and socialized by the human imagination. The imagination creates the plan, flirtation, longing and anticipation, this all plays within our    mind’s eye. This is where our faculties live.

Let go of your fears and take the risk, to ask for what you want on every level so you can create the most intimate romantic relationship that is solid, fulfilling full of love, passion, euphoria, a        acceptance, pleasure and closeness.

If you want to improve your romantic relationship and deepen your connection with your partner  you can work with me in my coaching program RELATIONSHIP INTIMACY & PLEASURE  on my website ‎







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