Sexual polarity

Sexual polarity is a sexual dance between two people, and as a lover of Argentine tango, the dynamics are very similar. Tango is passionate, sensual and seductive dance an elaborate display of masculinity and femininity. It highlights rather than hides the characteristics and functions of the opposite sexes It is the warm embrace between man and women. It is the intimacy and emotional connection that Tango ignites between us. The man carefully leads me and protects me and  I make the dance beautiful with my elegance and femininity.  Without the binding force of masculinity and femininity, tango loses its beauty, charm and attraction.

It is the connection that makes us one, the communication that links up our hearts, the intimacy, tenderness and comfort that satisfy our soul. It serves the need that lies deeply in our humanity, giving us a sense of connection, belonging and completion. It takes us back to our earliest memories, to the cradle of our infancy, the support and protection of our father’s arms, and the warmth and safety of our home. It reminds us that we are better not when we are alone, but when we are together. In the end, we find home in each other, because we need, belong to, and complete each other. We dance to be one with each other, thus make ourselves whole. Without the embrace, tango is not tango but another ordinary dance.

I dance with my eyes closed to connect and communicate with my partner on a deeper level, there is no need to talk it would only be a distraction as I’m constantly feeling the energy of my partner.  I feel totally safe and I know he will protect me from being bumped, kicked or stepped on.  Argentine Tango is an improvised dance, as a woman I follow his lead I surrender and trust him completely, I wait for his signal  as he moves me on the dance floor with his strong embrace and direction. I am guided by him completely as to when to move my feet, its conversation between us as our feet communicate. He is my pillar, supporting me with his body keeping me balanced as he executes my steps.  If I decide to move before he leads me, I throw him off and the energy is broken and we have to start the polarity all over again.

The Sexual polarity force creates an almost irresistible attraction between two people. If a woman is loving, nurturing, sweet and playful with you, your masculine energy will heighten and you will want to wrap your strong arms around her make her feel safe and loved, her feminine energy will make you feel powerful turned on and all you’ll want to do is ravish her and please her. Two polarizing opposite energies, in addition to a loving heart connection and emotional intimacy, are needed to create the passionate energy of sexual polarity in any romantic relationship.  When the masculine and feminine  qualities are exaggerated  it attracts like magnets and the spark  feels incredibly strong, and extremely orgasmic of itself. Very little has to be done besides stay with the feeling of the magnetism between you.

The Masculine energy, is still and structured, active, analytical and generally likes to take initiative, and be direct and decisive. You seek freedom and space in every aspect of life   One of the most important factors is your Purpose a desire to complete tasks and missions.  You are generally competitive  in ways for you to grow through challenges, whether it’s at work or through sport. You like to live on the edge and experience new things, that challenge you (think extreme sports). You’re not afraid to face your fears regardless of consequences.

The feminine energy on the other hand is soft,  sensual, vulnerable, emotional, compassionate, deep, receptive. We are intuitive and trust our hearts rather than our mind. We like to go with the flow and can be unpredictable. We are in love with love, and want to nurture and cherish our loved ones.  We are constantly seeking  intimacy and connection whether with a romantic partner or friendships. Our beauty radiates when we are acknowledged for the love and support, we offer, our hearts feel full and our bodies alive.

These energies are within all of us and are not gender specific.  We can develop both aspects to be integrated whole beings. To find out which is your dominant energy, ask yourself which is more important to you – fulfilling your mission in life, or, creating and sustaining loving relationships in your life.  If fulfilling your mission is more important then you have a masculine essence, and if creating relationships of love and fulfilment is your priority, then you have a feminine essence.  If both are equally important, then you have balanced masculine and feminine energies within you. However, for the purpose of having mind-blowing sex, emphasising one or the other will create a lot more arousal, attraction  and pleasure between you and your partner. When it comes to making love, would you rather be active and penetrate energetically, (masculine energy) or would you rather be more passive, receptive, and receive your lover (feminine energy)?

However, sexual polarity has become decimated in our society. We try to be equal in  every area of life but It just doesn’t work in the bedroom, because it can feel platonic or flat, if you want your relationship to be sexy and sensual you want to increase the attraction of opposites. If she feels she needs to control and plan everything, she will lose respect for you and the attraction of opposites starts to lose its power.


Picture of young bride and groom dancing at a wedding to illustrate Sexual Polarity

You can Increase the level of your masculinity by setting  boundaries provide security and stability and take ownership of your relationship  its yours to create, so your woman feels drawn to your  powerful sexual energy. if you can’t lead her, she can’t follow you that’s the idea of attraction of opposites you  provide the vision, the plan, of your lovemaking and she surrender to the pleasure  you give to her, as you  make her feel special and show her how much you love her.

Women want to be transported on  an erotic exciting playful adventure  they want  to trust that you can bring pleasure every day in many ways.

If she has to be masculine at work, she wants to come home and feel your masculinity taking  care of her, and she can relax into her femininity and this will amplify things in the bedroom making it sexy and hot because the polarity of feminine and masculine is magnified.

It is also important to have  an emotional connection with your woman  a safe way of telling your truth where you can be honest, vulnerable  and share your deepest feelings, while still being confident with an air of certainty. Reassure her by letting her know how you feel about her and what you want from the relationship., then she can share her emotions, her fears, her frustrations, with you or anything  at all, where you can empathise and not judge her or try to fix her (unless she asks you to) just allow her to feel her emotions a woman who feels anger also feels passion, allowing her to vent her full range of emotions,  where she can feel very safe in your arms and be in her feminine energy. You are her safe place she needs you to be her  rock. This helps her fully surrender especially sexually, whatever she wants desires and needs through your love and acceptance it brings out her feminine nature more and more. And allows you to be in your masculine energy completely.

Take her to higher levels of who she is and who she can become, by supporting her in her growth and evolution. Encourage her femininity by complimenting her often, notice the things about her that are beautiful women love compliments but only say things you really mean, women are intuitive and will know if you are not sincere. Buy her a sexy outfit you’d love her to wear for you.  When you hug her hold her tight so she feels you’ve got her, kissing her often in several places, this helps her yield  her desire for you.  This is how you create magnetism!

You can learn more about Sexual Polarity in our Tantric Lovers coaching.


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